My Blog
That “Not Good Enough” Feeling
I’ve struggled with not feeling good enough. As a kid in school, I stayed up late anxiously cramming for tests or perfecting papers that I’d procrastinated writing. My “not good enough” anxiety helped me achieve, but robbed me of the deeper joy of learning, and being...
10 Tips for Better Sleep
One of my favorite feelings in the world is waking up after a good night's sleep, feeling well rested and full of energy. There's (almost) nothing better than that. Beyond the empowering feeling it gives, adequate and restful sleep is fundamental for overall health...
Loving the Moment You’re In
It recently occurred to me that I’ve either been in a relationship with a man or actively seeking one for most of my adult life. And yet, unlike most other things that I’ve set my mind to, the relationship part of my life has been riddled with "failures." Truthfully,...
Anger is a Messenger
Young girls are taught to “be good.” Good girls are kind, patient and pretty. They’re not aggressive or bossy, and they don’t get angry. Whether that was told to us directly or it was modeled by our mothers, teachers or culture, we know in our bones that “anger is...
Untangling the Mess
I recently found my favorite gold dangley necklace and hoop earrings impossibly tangled together in a big unruly knot. After several hasty and unsuccessful attempts to free them from their bondage, I was desperate. So I tried a different approach. Instead of pulling...
Slow Power is Simple, but not Always Easy
When I’m afraid or feel out of control about a situation in my life, like if I’m caught in a conflict with someone, or I need to set a boundary I’ve been avoiding, my first instinct is to speed up and do more.
I start to move fast. I go into doing mode, and try to “figure things out” with my head. It feels frenetic.
Sometimes I can spin in that head space for hours or even days. It’s my old protective mode that I rely on to attempt to control things, so that I can feel safe, and get what I want.
But I’ve discovered that pushing harder and doing more is the exact opposite of what I need.